Balancing Act

My plate is full.

 I don't even remember adding things to it, but somehow I have accumulated a lot. There is not a single thing that occupies my time that I do not fully enjoy, but the amalgamation of them all in a week means restless nights and tired days. I feel as though I have very little time to sit and read or write. Things that are almost essential to my being. I am thankful for this blog because it gives me the opportunity to air out a few of my larger thoughts, but my journals lie empty and my heart is full.

A typical week consists of:

Songwriting meeting on Mondays

Bible study with Marilee and then small group on Tuesday

Assisted living home/dinner on Wednesday

Thursday-break

Being social on Fridays like a normal human

Praise Band practice/Ylios on Saturday

Church on Sunday.

I could opt for being anti-social on Fridays and that might help, but I don't know the huge difference it would make in the world for me. Besides these things I work from 7:30-4 Mon-Fri (a thing that I am most grateful for because with the life I lead now working at the Omni would have meant certain depression) which means waking up at 6 every day. There just are not enough hours. I feel as though I am always tired. I fall into my bed at night and sleep evades me because I am simultaneously too tired and my brain is running 1000 wpm.

Lately, I've found moments of peace just before bed that involve walking under the stars in the beautiful fall weather we have had. It helps. It really does, but the walks are never long enough. Time is inevitably shot.

My co-workers mentioned massages today ( I wasn't involved because they were free for veterans and I am the only one at my job who has never been in the military) and while I have never had a professional massage the very thought of one made me yearn for a source of deep relaxation.

I need a break, but I do not know how to find one.