separate thoughts

I want to curl up in an over-sized, comfortable chair with a warm blanket and a large cup of tea and disappear into my book.
I want to lie on the sand with a warm cup of cocoa, staring up at the beauty of the stars and reveling in the rhythm of the sea.
I want to feel the warmth of the sun on my back while I feel the soft grass beneath my hands enjoying the company and food a picnic brings.
I want to experience the excitement of roaming through a new town, never knowing what is around the next corner sating my wanderlust for a day.
I want to roam aisle after aisle of books. Running my hands along their spine, wondering at the adventure each holds.

It seems that I am restless

There are things I cannot write about.
Feelings, moments,thoughts
kept deep inside to keep them from becoming too real.
Guarding. Holding. Waiting.
Each day is harder and easier at the same time.
Falling is terrifying (they claim it is the fun part, and at times it is, but I think it gets so much better)
I'm ready to land. I want to know where I am going.
There is certainty on the ground, but while you are airborne the wind can blow you anywhere.
Uncertainty and I are not friends.