'I can't go back to yesterday because I was a different person then..."

For the past few weeks I have been struggling a lot with the guilt of my past. Tonight at my small group a line from one of my favorite songs was mentioned and though I've sung the song a million times and loved every word this one line slapped me in the face

"I don't have time to maintain these regrets when I think about the way He loves us..."

Wow. You see, it is so easy for us to get caught up in the past that we neglect to understand the indescribable beauty that is Grace. By accepting Jesus as Savior. By giving him our lives we are forgiven of every past transgression we made against him. We are forgiven for all of the times we will fail in the future. We are forgiven and loved wholly.

Wow. I'd also read a verse in Isaiah yesterday that had a similar effect on me.

"You will say in that day: 'I will give thanks to you, O Lord, for though you were angry with me your anger turned away that you might comfort me.'" Isaiah 12:1

I often forget what true love is like. It floors me and I cannot help, but give praise. I am so thankful for the changes that God is/has/and will make in my life. Every day is an adventure. No two are the same. When I wake up tomorrow, I will be a different person because of the light that shines on me from my Father.

I also made the decision today, after a wonderful small group, that it is time for more drastic changes. God is working in my life, but I continue to fight him for my own selfish desires. I am taking a year off from dating (starting today) because clearly men have been a distraction in my life. I know that God is writing my love story and I am willing to wait for the beauty of that story because it is a million times better than anything I could have written on my own. 

How appropriate that today is the international day of prayer! 

So here I stand--well lie--with a heart fully open to God knowing that he will guard it and protect me, and excited for what tomorrow brings.