prayer and thanksgiving

The way God leads me is astounding. He has sent me on this epic adventure filled with ups and downs ultimately leading to a total union with him. I love it, but I am so stubborn. I keep taking the more difficult path though there is an easier one before me. I want so desperately to take his hand and let him lead me, but my heart hardens and stands in the way. Silly heart. You never know what is best for you.

I feel God telling me (and he has sent me this message continually) to be still and to wait on his perfect timing. To trust him in my struggles with relationships. To trust him as I fight to understand myself. To trust that he will lead me wherever he needs me most. Even if that means being stationary for a bit.

Father,

I love you. I am awed by you. I am thankful for your grace. For the hardships I endure--which are not so hard in the grand scheme of life. I thank you for trusting me with your beautiful message and though I fail you pick me up and point me in the right direction each time. I fear love, but you teach me that perfect love drives out fear. I believe you, God. I know that your word is truth, and that all good things come from you. I know that you are asking me to wait. To be still and to wait on you. I know that my restless nature makes this difficult, Father, but I also know that you are worth it. I know that the plans that you have for me are beautiful. I cannot wait to see them! I fear the future, but you tell me to not be afraid because you are with me. If I have nothing else in this life, but you I am rich beyond measure, but you have also blessed me with friendships far greater than this selfish, prideful heart deserves. You show me your love and mercy through them. Through my family, you teach me patience and the importance of time and effort. Father, I thank you for my grandfather. Our relationship has not always been great, and it may never be all that I dream, but it is what you desire, Father. What more could I ask for? Help me to be thankful in all that I have. Help me to be a living sacrifice to you because nothing of me is my own. Help me to love as you love, and to set aside all pride and selfishness.

I love you, Father.

Thank you.