Doubt thou the stars are fire

Doubt that the sun doth move

Doubt truth to be a liar

But never doubt my love

-Hamlet

Tonight at my small group we had a discussion on the influence of doubt both in our faith and in ourselves. It was amazing to listen as each girl explained some of the fears of their hearts. In Matthew 8: 23-27 tells the story of Jesus calming the storm. His disciples, having seen him perform numerous miracles at this point, doubted whether or not he could save them from the storm, and when Jesus calmed the sea they marveled at his power. I think that in a similar way I often doubt whether or not God will help me through certain situations. Forgetting the incredible amount of miracles he has already performed in my life--primarily continuing to draw someone as incredibly flawed as I am into his arms--I let fear cloud my heart and mind. Through it all, however, Jesus is still there telling me to trust him. I have, of late, asked him to be blatantly obvious with me. "Shake me until I listen!" I beg of him because I know that I am an idiot who needs all of the coaxing in the world before I can believe something. I recently struggled with taking a very big chance. Risking my heart and taking a leap of faith that it would not be broken. I asked God for guidance and he gave me a pretty clear answer, but when fear crept in I asked for advice from man and not from God and I was led astray. When my heart was heavy and my mind was confused I turned back to God begging for clarity and again he gently responded in a way I would not have expected. 

I do not know what the future holds, but I do not doubt the mark of God that I see on my life right now. Matthew 8:5-13 tells the story of a centurion with remarkable faith. Jesus marveled at this man's faith and as I read that story today I felt myself yearning for the strength to be that.

I have so much in my life to be thankful for at the moment, but the greatest of these is the hope that I have in my savior. He reminds me that I am loved and important because I am his child.

Thank you, Father.