I have been reading this book by Ravi Zacharias called "I, Issac, take thee Rebekah." It is a beautiful book about getting beyond the fantasy of romance to the greater reality of lasting love. My personal experiences with love--through both my parents and grandparents--have been quite far from what I would want to emulate in my own life and so when I saw this book I was eager to read it. In one of the chapters Ravi describes how love goes above and beyond what is expected of it in the most simple of ways. Doing everyday tasks like taking out the trash when are not really in the mood to go outside become acts of love towards your spouse as well as acts of worship to God.
I prayed to see this some day in my own life and was amazed to see it displayed so quickly. At church tonight a friend of mine asked her husband to get batteries for her guitar. Without hesitation he asked her if there was anything else that he could get her while he was out. She smiled and said no. She was going to walk out with him to get her guitar, but our worship leader called us aside to explain somethings about the set. Just as he was finishing up the conversation with us in walks my friend's husband with her guitar. He hands it to her. She blushes and thanks him. He kisses her on the cheek and leaves to get the batteries. I couldn't help but to smile myself. So that is what it looks like. Nothing showy or grand just a simple giving of oneself to another. I know their relationship is not easy. No relationship is, but they are rooted in God together and care so deeply for one another that their hardships are nothing they cannot overcome. I am not a huge romantic. I have never been able to bring myself to believe in romance, but I realize that this was because I did not truly know what it was. I grew up with Disney films and bad chick flicks that show a superficial kind of love. True love is found in the humblest of relationships. Instead of a show there is a display of total surrender to the heart of another person.
That is the love I hope to show to my future husband. That is the love that I pray my children see in us because I know now that God wants me to never settle for less than that.
It makes me very sad that this form of love is so difficult to find these days. I was reading this same book at work the other day and a friend of mine in the Marines came up and asked me about it. When I showed it to him he said that he was very much intrigued by the topic. We are not particularly close. Up until this point all of our conversations had been very superficial and focused most prominently on us attempting to find time to get together after work. Yet as he read the description of the book he audibly expressed that this was a fear, a question in his own life—wondering if he could find that type of love for himself. If it truly existed. He is very family oriented, and dreams of one day having a family of his own, but the actual execution is difficult. love is terrifying.
My question is: why? Why is it so scary? Why is it so difficult for us to open up to another person? To put ourselves out there knowing that in the end we could be broken? I believe my answer comes in the form of media and society's cheapening of the word love. Cheap and fast pleasures have become the norm. temptations are great. The time and commitment of true love is no longer seen as worth it. Oh, but it is. I was once terrified of that myself. Rightly so. I had been tempted and failed in a desire to please man over God. In a confusion of what it meant to be in love and to give of oneself. I learned my lessons well. At times I am still afraid, but I can see that with God there is nothing to fear. If my heart is broken again I will not be happy, but I will learn from it and move on trusting that God's will for my life will be done. I do not have all of the answers, but I love learning, and more importantly seeing evidence of what love can become when focused around God. Yes, I have made mistakes, but they have taught me to fully appreciate grace. Yes, I have fears, but they are small because I know that if a perfect love comes my way it will drive out those fears.
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There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear. For fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not been perfected in love. (1 John 4:18 ESV)
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